Memories

It's been far too long since I've updated my blog. There are so many things I've wanted to tell you about. But, I got stuck in a paralyzing moment of emotion. Shortly after we celebrated Hunter's birthday, my family experienced the opposite end of the emotional spectrum; grief. My mother's, mother, Mabel (or as we knew her, "Nana") passed away. She had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's for some time and my Grandfather (who is legally blind, with diabetes and bad hips) took care of her at home for as long as humanly possible. Eventually, earlier this year, the decision was made to put Nana in an adult care home. It was the best situation for everyone, really. It was hard to accept this next phase in her life, not being able to take care of herself and each day seeing more and more of the Nana we knew slip away. I went to visit her a couple of times and was saddened to see her listless state. She was always so vigorous, energetic and full of laughs. On one of my visits I sat next to her on the love seat my Grandpa, "Papa" had bought for her. (So they could have a place to sit next to one another while they watched tv.) She was reclined comfortably, with a blanket tucked around her and she was drifting in an out of sleep. I had my new iPhone with me and decided to show her the photos I had just taken of the kids with the fatbooth app.

As soon as she saw the chubby cheeked cherubs she burst into a laughter that I can still {thankfully} hear in my ears. It was an honest to goodness belly laugh. :) I think it took the caretakers by surprise because they each one by one peeked in around the corner to see what was so funny. (But, there we sat, not talking or doing anything really, just me showing her images on my phone.)

Mother's Day her daughters went out to visit and I decided to come along and brought my camera. I'm so glad God planted that idea in my heart because that was the last time I would have the opportunity; and the images that were captured are priceless.

 One thing I couldn't help but notice was that they couldn't keep their hands off one another. The saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder", was in full effect! Papa could hardly bear not having her at home with him, so he visited as often as he could. Relying on other people to give him rides or taking taxi's. He'd go in the morning and stay through lunch (never eating himself) but not wanting Nana to eat alone.

On May 24, 2011 Nana had, what we believe was, a stroke. She was rushed to the hospital by ambulance and died before my mom & Papa arrived. It was quick and hopefully painless. And, if you know anyone suffering from Alzheimer's (or recovering from a stroke at her age of 88 and a half) you can imagine that this was maybe a bit of a blessing. To watch her deteriorate and no longer be able to communicate like her once articulate and eloquent self was heart wrenching. She used to be so full of energy. At her funeral a cousin, who also helped cared for her in her home, told stories of taking her for walks from her home near Earl Brown & Sons all the way to Yantis Park and then she'd head right up to the top of the hill with my cousin (nearly a third of Nana's age) in tow. She was barely breathless after her efforts to get to the top.  Amazing! The next part of that story tells of the kind of heart Nana had. Once she reached the top she'd outstretch her arms over the Valley and fervently pray over the town and its people. Even in her cloudier days, it was said that she would pray with such clarity & purpose it was as if for a brief lucid moment the clouds broke and the Son shone brightly through.  If you believe in the Holy Spirit, be encouraged that He never leaves you even when your mind is being ravaged by a despicable disease. 

That's one thing my family has a great peace about. We KNOW Nana is in a better place. She was a devout Christian, even was a  licensed minister. There were two stories shared that brought goosebumps to my flesh that I'd like to share with you. The night before she passed one of the caretakers was helping her into bed when Nana all of a sudden pointed across the room and said, "Oh she's here! I'm going with her." The woman knew no one was there but Nana was certainly seeing someone she wasn't. She laid her down, turned down the lights and headed into the living room where this night nurse kept watch to be sure no one wandered. Well, later that night she said all of a sudden she saw this bright pink light streaming down the hall. She got up to investigate and as she came around the corner to my Grandma's room she couldn't place the source of the light because it was no longer there. The next morning, my Grandma passed.

Now, this story in and of itself may not seem like much. In fact, when my mother heard it she brushed it off... until her brother came to town for the funeral. He is also a licensed minister. And, throughout the weekend of stories being shared he told of a recent encounter he had a hospital. He was the Minister on call  and had been helping assist and pray for a family who's mother was gravely ill with emphysema. (A lung disease that makes it very difficult to breathe.) He had stepped out into the hall when this woman's daughter started yelling for my uncle to return. He came racing back, expecting to see her mother in distress but instead saw her sitting up. That's when her daughter grabbed my uncle by the face and turned him to look in the corner of the room where a bright pink light was shining. Everyone was stunned, no one had experienced anything quite like it and my uncle had no explanation. That's when her mother took a deep, clear breath, slowly exhaled and passed away; just as the light filled the room and then vanished.

How are your hairs doing now? Standing up at attention, are they? :) Amazing, isn't it? Miracles are still happening around us. We just have to be willing and open to receive them!

It made all of us wonder about that mysterious pink light that was outside of Nana's room the night before... and who was that woman that had come to visit her? Perhaps an old friend who'd passed on before to let her know what was about to happen? Maybe an angel? Maybe her mother? My grandpa gets a smile on his face everytime his mind starts to wonder.

I'm ending this post feeling a little bit lighter now that I've finally put in writing what happened that last sad week in May. Hopefully now I can look forward to catching you up on the great things have happened since.

Nana was an amazing woman. She was always encouraging us grandchildren to find our calling. She had an amazing smile with twinkling eyes that were so kind and loving.  I'll always remember her hands, the way her fingers bent to the side at the tips, and the way she so effortlessly made images come to life through her art. She made a mural in her master bath that was of a lake, complete with a bald eagle perched on a broken off stump. It surrounded the big soaking tub and as a kid I felt I was transported to this place she had created. They always had little butterscotch & peppermint hard candies in a glass bowl on the end table for us. And, it's because of her that my first word was "peachies", because near their sliding glass doors they had a shelf stacked full of canned peaches at the end of every summer and I would have devoured every last one of them if they had let me. I'll never forget the trips we took in their 5th wheel up to the cabins they were caretakers of while Papa was in the Forest Service. I'm sure that's where she got most of her inspiration for her paintings. But, most of all I'll never forget her love for us grandchildren and the daily prayers she sent up on our behalf. For as tiny as she was in person, she left a huge impression on those around her and she left some pretty big shoes to fill in her absence.

Love you, Nana! I thank God for you!