Have you lost your wizzies??

I'd been having this nagging feeling in the back of my mouth for some time. The dentist kept telling me I should have my wisdom teeth taken out. But, I've heard the horror stories (gaping holes that food gets stuck in, the pain, etc.) and thought I'd just put it off another year and take my chances. Then I got pregnant and I thought that would be a great excuse to not go through with it... to my surprise the Dentist said I could still have teeth pulled while pregnant or nursing. What?! I don't think so. So, I put it off for two more years. Unfortunately, every time I considered getting it done, paid for the slides, I'd chicken out and the film is only good for a year. So, this time I figured I should follow through to not waste the $80+ I paid to prove that I did, in fact, need to have my wisdom teeth removed.
Flash forward to this Tuesday, Jared got two days off, I lined up Grammy to watch the boys & signed on the dotted line to have my surgery done.  During the consultation I decided I'd only have the top one's removed. (The bottom one's are running right through my nerve and the Doctor thought there was too much risk of permanent nerve damage. Uh... yeah, scratch that.) Never once during the consultation did we discuss the possibility of being pregnant or breastfeeding being a problem. We did however talk at length about anesthesia and my preferences. "Laughing gas", where you can't feel pain, other than the 4 obviously painful shots to localize the area, and then you do feel tugging, hear the chiseling, smell the blood, see the tools, etc. OR General Anesthesia, one painful poke to the arm & then lights out. My choice was to be put out cold.
See, I've been put "out" twice before, it was the best sleep ever... in my life... I couldn't wait to experience it again. Especially after 2+ years of interrupted sleep during the night. A 45 minute nap that felt like 4 hours??? Count me in!
The morning of the surgery I got up late, darn alarm never works when it's suppose to (and no, I'm not talking about Grady). I asked Jared to make me a breakfast of scrambled eggs, since I knew I wouldn't be able to eat most of the day.  He dutifully did and included some toast with jam & juice. Good husband! I fed Grady & dropped him off with Grammy before heading to the appointment at 7:45am.  As I was getting checked in the nurse asked me if I had anything to eat. Of course I did, I told her. All of a sudden thoughts of not eating before getting put under flashed through my mind... but I didn't receive any information that discussed not eating. Sure enough, I heard the dreaded words, "I'm sorry, but if you ate breakfast you cannot go under general anesthesia. There's too much risk of vomiting & possibly aspirating."  Well, now I did want to vomit, I actually offered to do so right there. "If I throw up my breakfast will you please, put me under?!" After some debating, the Doctor decided to give me another drug that would settle my (now) tensing stomach & give me slight amnesia to forget the procedure. Deal!
Well, all I remember is laying down, scolding myself for eating a sensible breakfast & wondering how I was going to keep from gagging as the Dr. yanked & cranked my 3 teeth out from the far reaches of my jaw. He put an oxygen mask over my face, asked for my arm & gave me a shot. 1... 2... 3.... fade to black.... Ahhh, good night!
Next thing I remember is telling Jared that the bear in the middle of the office is scary, and I'm going to need to jump over the table. Umm, huh? Then I vaguely remember babbling on about something else. I feel ice on my cheeks, Jared saying something about hallucinations and possibly using duct tape to keep the ice on my face. More darkness. I feel a toy gun in my hand, and hear Jared asking me if I can pull the trigger (inducing a banging sound) if I needed anything.  Apparently he couldn't find my princess bell. Didn't matter, I could barely hear him in the bottom of the canyon I was in.
Around noon I finally started to focus on my surroundings, I think I asked to go to the bathroom, or Jared suggested that I go. Either way I remember a feeble attempt at walking & ended up like Bambi on ice on the floor in front of the recliner. Shortly after the trip to the bathroom is when I noticed I was no longer wearing the same pants I had put on that morning and I was now wearing very slippery socks.  It's at this point Jared informed me that when he had loaded me in the car to come home, I somehow managed to dump my bottle of water all over myself. So, he kindly changed my pants when I got home. Wow, now that's some good drugs!
All was good until I realized I hadn't fed Grady and judging by the size of my bra, he was hungry. That's when I was also informed that I could NOT breastfeed like I had originally planned. WHAT? I guess I should have figured that out by my mental state, or lack there of.  When my dentist recommended that I remove my teeth while pregnant or nursing, he meant the barbaric way, without general anesthesia. If I had chose laughing gas I suppose I could still nurse. Well, selfish me chose the hard drugs and Grady paid the price for 24 hours. He refused all formula bottles, but ate more than he ever has of pureed fruits & veggies & rice cereal. Poor guy, this coming one day after his 7 month check up where his new pediatrician informed me that he was only in the 10th percentile for weight (16 lbs) and it's time we try to fatten him up.
It's now day 3 post surgery, I still feel like someone parked a truck in the back of my mouth. My throat is bruised & hurts to swallow, my jaw feels like it will crack if I open wide enough to put a spoon in and I am so, so very hungry! I can't wait to lose the stitches & finally get to gnaw on some real food. For now, I'll try to enjoy my liquid/soft serve diet.  Meatloaf smoothie, anyone?

*****

Ok, so it is now day 5 post surgery (2 days since this post) the best I've felt yet to be honest. I attended a bridal shower this morning for a friend and brought my camera to take photos of the event. Tonight I decided before going to bed that I would download the photos. I quickly opened the folder & started browsing through the photos, one by one, admiring the moments... then all of a sudden this photo pops up!

My heart skipped a beat, my stomach leapt to my throat, I felt flushed- what is this?!

It was like a crime scene photo, I wasn't prepared for. Jared, took the liberty of documenting my post surgery, drug-induced coma!!

So, that comment I vaguely remembered of him wanting to use duct tape to hold up my ice packs, wasn't too far off.

Thank God he was kind enough to

a) give me a head start by icing my cheeks

b) used a gentler approach than duct tape

Thanks babe!

I owe you!